Tuesday, October 11, 2011

i wrote a letter to a friend today

i wrote a letter to a friend today, a friend who currently sits amongst a seething cauldron of despair one which i could not even begin to fathom, my friend took someone elses life. Somewhere between midnight and 5am one night, a car carrying one passenger(my friend), rear ended another driver and sent him careening of the side of a high rise bridge into the water, this man was later pronounced dead upon impact. Imagine that you were just merrily driving along like my friend, maybe take focus off the road for a second, then in a flash your life changes forever. Immediately after all of this you are are thrown in jail for more than a year to sit with the fate of this very grave and life altering experience. No escape, no distractions, just you and the relentless agony of depression, fear and hopelesness, all of this plus an absolute uncertainty of when it will end, i could not imagine folks. I wrote a letter to a friend today, and what i wrote was not important, the only important details in all of it is that i wrote it, i care. It is extremely hard to carry much concern for anything or anyone, especially in a world where people tell you they care yet the actions they take and the way in which they carry themselves, speak to quite the contrary, fuck them. I can't blame them entirely though. In a world with gucci shoes, successful and unsuccessful, rich parents, poor parents, the privleged and underprivleged these folks are only acting according to blueprint they were given, whether these folks are to blame or not, the truth is at there disposal.The other night i went out with three, "so called friends" and kept trying to convince myself i was having a good time, but at the end of the affair the sharade was up, i hated all of these people. Talk of new diet kicks, superset chest exercises and douchebaggery filled the air and made me want to cast my my dinner into the floorboard of the car. it seems no matter how hard i try to compromise my personal integral boundaries and try to cut people some slack, i just cant seem to find anyone who i genuinely give a shit about. and the ones who i thought could possibly be somewhat tolerable wind up being, clingy, pretentious looney tunes. I can tell you that the letter i wrote today was written to a friend. someone who i fished with, got high with, laughed with and grew up with for the latter part of my life and someone i am truly concerned about, no matter how large of a gap time puts between people, it all come full circle in the end, and it seems that no matter how long or far away you get with some people, friendship never fades, it seems time is the greatest foe of relationships and for those that endure this test, these are to be cherished.

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